Bebe Monitor - July 5

Miss V'lu here...givin you the scoop on Bebe.

She's eating like a little pig and she's getting all the treats. I mean, ALL THE TREATS. She refused her canned food, so Mama is feeding her - get this - sliced ham and chicken breast. CHICKEN BREAST I TELLS YA!!! I can't tell you how mad I am at her, I hiss at her even if she's eight feet away, and then I get heck. Apparently she's quite sick but you'd never know it - she's running around, playing with her puppy, jumping up on everything she usually does, and acting the princess all the time.

I am not amused.

Meanwhile, Ellen tried to scale the bookshelves in the red room and scared the bejeebusses out of all of us, including the Mama. Apparently she was on the top shelf because of the nature of the books she knocked down. Mama told her to NEVER EVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN and she gave us all the same warning, but I'm not an "on top" girl so whatever, that rule doesn't apply to me.

Its freakin' hot here - we're all laying around like gutted shrimp, which reminds Mama of her favorite little poem:

Men who live in the tropics

Know what the heat can do

When their dicks hang limp

Like gutted shrimp

And their testicles stick like glue.

I think that covers Mama's reading material and song, coz when she recites the above, she does it with a slight Irish brogue and lilt.

I am the Queen of Everything,

V'lu